So long NZ, so long Tim

Bar a few deprived third world nations, the New Zealand tour is finally over!!!!

[ This space intentionally left blank for thoughts of ticker tape parades, fanfairs and biscuits (biscuits are good, why not?) ]

Coupled with the England tour to Middle Earth, it's been a long long long 6 months. Over that time we've seen England scrape through in the long stuff, and generally under perform in the short stuff. Most wins actually seemed to be down to one side losing, rather than the others winning. I'll soon forget all about it I'm sure though, only to be left with memories of that tooth and Jesse Ryder being a prat. The one other thing that will be left in my mind is also to be the coming one and going of two more wicket keepers.

Mustard was cast aside because Peter Moores found yet another a new toy, but that new toy's batteries seem to be made by Duraseal, Evenready or Energreaser and ran out as soon as the turbo button was pressed. Sorry to drag on that metaphor, but I guess it's possible that the batteries may be replaced, but even when they when they were new out the box, 21 catches in 24 innings doesn't set the world alight, and today's obscene drop of How seemed to be something of a nail in Tim's ODI coffin after an utterly dismal series with the bat. I reckon we're going to see someone change at least for the ODI's, and it doesn't seem that a keeper should need to be changed between formats.

And what did poor old Chris Read do wrong in the first place? He was sent away to improve with the bat and he jolly well did, and then ust dissapeared again. The Colonel also has a similar epitaph, but he can wait his turn while the best glove man in the country gets brought back into the fold. Please?

Edgbaston Spectator: My Story.

As I have a real picture which I really took myself I feel duty bound to add to the column inches about the mess that I watched yesterday as the exact fan that was hard done by.

It was miserable in general. I spent a good half hour waiting in a taxi queue to get down to the ground, then at least 15 stuck in traffic getting there and all this time I was still trying to be hopeful that they'd have a go at starting in the morning. When I, in full kid in a candy store mode, bounded up the steps of the priory stand hoping my personal hope would flow forth onto the pitch I still felt lucky, but obviously it wasn't to be.

From that initial dissapointment it's then 3.5 hours of nada, zip, nothing. no, sorry Ross Taylor and A N Other surfaced out of the marina and held a rugby ball and then walked off again.

Covers come off. That's a good thing. Finally 2:21 comes (oh yes, that acurate) and with a nice clear pitch infront of us they announce that a TwentyNine29 will start in 39 minutes time. 39 minutes? it's ready. 15 minutes of running about the field maybe, then get on with it. Already they clearly could have got at least 15 minutes more play right there and then, and as reported it kept in that vein.

It kept on like that it seemed until the powers that be realise that they've only played 24 overs so far today. And if they don't get out soon (by 6:06 at 5:45) then the match statistically can't get a result, therefore... and here's the killer... they're still in 50% refund territory. WOooooooooooooooooooOOOOOsh out the come in record time for the NZ innings and as if my magic there's 25 overs. Goodbye refund by 4 minutes. Hello justified but still whining Kiwi's and collywobbles pretending it wasn't timewasting.

One of the things I will now remember for ever was hearing Jeremy Coney talking about rule 43 on my Sky/TMS earpieces (s = I had two and a sports radio with me. Be prepared) was that day one of being an umpire is rule 43 - common sense. How can formally agreed regulations not be overruled if ALL officials AND BOTH TEAMS agree to do so? Cobblers to formal regulations if no one involved agrees with them given the factors affecting them.

So as the very fan Botham and Boycs continually try to stand up for, whatever their playing days may give away about their real opinions, I was annoyed. This was the ONE full day of cricket I could afford to go to this year. just the one, and I was going to be a great day. And whilst the weather is no ones fault apart from the Swiss, so so much more could have been done to mitigate it.

New kecks for New Zealand

Oh, they just couldn't resist it could they? Having been simultaneously dazzled and put in the shade by the new England Daz test kit they have to try and spoil the party with their own super special trousers. Nice to see they genuinely did decide to drop the "abrasive patch" (read sandpaper) on one side of them.

Also these new trousers secrete painkillers to keep Oram upright, and a lightweight exoskeleton as previously trialled by Wallace to help Vettori make his ground on time.

So the stats have come in for the 2nd ENG vs NZ test. In summary:




A - Luck
B - Sheer dumb luck
C - O'Brien drops
D - Bad calls against Monty's bowling
E - Dentistry

My son is a traitor!

Watching the first morning of the 2nd test reminds me of the fact that my 2yr old little boy seems to be an NZ supporter, largely as they have Hairy Maclary on their shirts as he cleverly observed during the overseas tests...

Personally I see more of a likeness to Jason Gillespie

What's a dayboo?

Aaron Redmond just caught by Cook off of Anderson for 0. His first test innings in his life and also apparently he is on his "dayboo". Is that another word for Honeymoon? I've heard Vettori use it quite a few times too this year. Is anyone with more worldy knowledge than me able to interpret this strange other-side-of-the-world word?