Thursday, 27 November 2008

Vaughan Free, Part 1

Followers of the plight of the lesser spotted Vaughan, should be warmed by the updates we can provide. With very few recent sightings in the wild of late, concerns had been raised with regards to the majestic if slightly stupid looking creatures health. Over the last few days a few glimpses were reported of the once King of the crease within the sub-continent, along with a Panesaur and a Straussling.

Whilst these give some new hope for it's survival, there is more good news from the Vaughan Free foundation, who are looking to release their first breeding single into the wild. As the species does, of course, reproduce asexually many new challenges are presented to the conservation specialists, who are traditionally just used to sticking one of whatever pointlessly dreary mammal it is with each set of bits into a cage and going behind a one way mirror with some popcorn and a La-Z-Boy each. First pictures have now been published of the first specimen bred in captivity.

Hopes are high that the snivelling little runt will be able to be soon be able to be reintroduced into its natural habitat. Unfortunately, since all specimens so far were reared in public school, no one seems to have a clue where that is, so it'll probably be as far away from the labs in Putney as the Vaughan Free foundation can afford. As such all work efforts have now switched from the laboratory to the topless car washes and Asda checkouts.

Wednesday, 26 November 2008

Too many Daves

5-0 down, with 2 more to lose. And it really does seem like an odd squad in general. An opener who you happily put down to bat at 9 the next match. flip flopping between your no. 3 and 4... There have been many cries in the press for bringing back in guys like Bresnan and Macarena. The more I see the squad the more I see why they are not in the line up.

Their name isn't Dave.

Peter Moores seems to like Daves. Everyone likes Dave. Everyone needs a mate called Dave to help "sort things" and drink them under the table. Since he's filled Norman Stanley Fletcher's shoes there have been many new additions, particuarly to the ODI lineup:

Dave Prior - Knows this guy who can get you some cheap DVD's by the Aldi carrier bag full.
Dave Bopara - Well we all know he can bosh up a sweet little shed in no time.
Dave Wright - Innit.
Dave Shah - Please, it's actually David. But erm, yes, I admit I am aware of other fellows with which to converse about canines.
Dave Swann - Ahh I was down Chimpys wiv Bongo and Nudge the other day, man what a geezer... middle of the joint he pulls out his........
Dave Patel - Geeeeeeezer!

Ever felt a face just didn't fit regardless of performance? Definitely a case of too many Daves and no real idea of what to do with them. A squad that seems to be built out of individuals and their county stats rather than a cohesive team with clear roles. I never liked seeing Bresnan, Mahmood or James Arbuthnot Dalrymple in an England, what with them being general wet blankets. But a whole heap of Dave's surely isn't working out.

And I get to link to this too. Because I say so.

Tuesday, 18 November 2008

Old gits vs new technology

My blogging has been lax these last few months, but there's one thing I've wanted to write about for a while but never had the __________ to do it. But thanks to Ceci and Suave I've another angle on TV rights that's finally making me do it.

Earlier this year there was the hahoo about the BBC not bothering to put a bid to the ECB for the TV rights for the England matches and there was this disappointed sighing, mumbling cursing stream from Aggers, Boycott etc... They feel that it's ultimately damaging to the game because of the reduced number of people with access to Sky Sports etc. All that sort of discussion seems fine in the here and now, but as these are rights for a few years down the line, they really start to fall apart the less they seem to understand about the (probable) future of broadcasting.

As above, thanks to Ceci and Suave, I ended up watching the 3rd ICL final today. It was a bunch of old has-beens and no-hopers and all of Kents overseas players, but any port in a storm. So I ended up on Sky channel 789, Zee music, which I didn't know existed and certainly didn't know broadcast ICL. It's a Sky channel, but fundamentally it's free on that gear, and only isn't on freeview itself because they couldn't get a slot or something.

So here this Terrestrial Vs Satellite argument doesn't exist, and more and more it's not going to exist. With the increase in IPTV (and projects like BT's 21CN shennigans) it's really not long before there really is no such thing as "Terrestrial" TV - and no Satellite either I'll bet. Freeview is a waste of time of course, just a political marketting yeeha - by the time the last transmitter is turned off Freeview will already be obsolete technically. With all broadcasting inevitably edging towards online and on demand viewing, Sky Sports, BBC 1 and Zee Music will all just be entries on a big old list that everyone will view over the net.

What's meant to happen when this playing field is levelled out (shortly after the Stanford Stadium pitch is also properly rolled)? When everything has converged down to a standard access method of infinite capacity and 1/infinity quality how are the BBC meant to keep competing for something like a Test match which is officially a specialist interest and very chuffing long?

Essentially I find it frustrating when various people with MCC ties live in the past due to their lack of knowledge. I know computers are scary things, but well tough titties to you. Take an interest and use it in your views for the future of broadcasting, or die trying.

oh yeah. I am that dull. Want those last two minutes of your life back? me too.

Monday, 17 November 2008


I hear many people say it, but it's nice to pick on whoever you think is a prat and also guilty, so clearly that man should always be Botham, the Nestle advertising goon, and as he said it last then that's even more reason...

Botham you tit, stop saying "They've got the breakthrough" every single poxy wicket anyone gets. Today, 8th ball of the match Broad (WHO USED TO BE A BATSMAN) got Sehwag to edge on to his stumps and, oh yes, he got the breakthrough!!! After 7 balls of abject desperation, literally crawling through a literally literal desert for almost 4 literal minutes the unthinkable finally happens. That once in a lifetime last chance salon (he shouldn't have had the haircut) of a wicket. What a breakthrough!!

Numb nuts.

He's also a dangerous fool to be around with a loaded Dangerman too.

Sunday, 16 November 2008

I'm a man, yes I am. But only just.

Well I just scraped through but (at least as of this moment in time) I'm offically male according to

Straight point - 98%
Cricket With Balls - 92%
King Cricket - 85%
Spun out - 80%
Republique Cricket - 77%
Miss Field - 55%
Erm... me - 50%

Originally Miss Field came out at 98%, which seemed about right, but I missed the - out of the address (and actually Class 3F's blog, which makes it even odder).

I was feeling pretty ashamed of my rating here until...

"We guess is written by a woman (55%), however it's quite gender neutral."

Phew, I didn't come last.